Pictures

I have been working on the portraits of my grandmother recently trying to go bigger and finding the correct time to give myself as well as the right brush to get the same look as the smaller ones.  Here are the 4" portraits all together.

I moved onto 12" portraits.  I am happy with them now looking back at them.  However, at the time I was not pleased with them.  I think it is because I was thinking too much about trying to achieve a certain look.  I kept changing the time and the brush I was using and trying to math to find the correct ratio of these paintings to the smaller ones.  Yes, I know...too much analyzing.  But, that is my nature and in certain situations it is more prominent than others.  So, I finally let go and just went with it and painted.

Here are a few more 12" ones I did.  

           I then moved onto 18" portraits.  I am trying to be gradual before I jump to a larger size.

I am pleased with the one below particularly.  I am not quite sure why, maybe the lack of painted information but the fact that it is giving off so much more info.

 I have also been exploring tape transfers.  I have been using ink jet images on computer paper.  Then I cover them in packaging tape.  I soak the image in water for a bit and the paper comes off of the tape leaving a very faint outline of the image.  It has a very haunting effect and reminds me of....drum roll...a memory (did you expect anything less).  After the tape drys I put it on translucent paper or cream colored paper.

I also printed a picture onto this transparent thick plastic.  It is used by quilters to make templates.  Now since the plastic is waxy the ink doesn't really stick to it, instead it beads up on the plastic.  So, I put some medium down on a piece of paper and then I put the plastic picture down.  It made them image bleed a little and created a weird splotchy look.  So, I am definitely interested in doing some more of those. 

That's where I am at right now.  I have polyurethane drying, books drying, tape transfers drying, and resin drying too.  I will update you when the drying has come to a halt. 

Rachel

Exploration

Hello once again!!!

I have been busy this week cutting some more books (on the band saw thankfully) as well as exploring new ways to put the books on the wall and other art pieces that go along with my concept.  So, here is a picture of my studio after the books have all been cut.

The pile on the left goes far back behind the box and there are more books to my left that aren't in this picture.  I am basically swimming in these books.  So, originally I was hanging the books one by one with a dow rod in the wall, which works perfectly fine.  However, it is extremely time consuming and makes me nervous when it comes time for me to set up the show (especially since we have to do it twice).  After expressing my woes to my professor he suggested I merely glue the books to a piece of wood and create a much smaller amount of pieces to hang.  I would then screw these wood pieces into the wall.  I will tell you this...I had just seen the light.  It was a simple solution for a complex problem.  My only concern was that the backs of the books that would be against the wood did not have that much surface area, which means less room for a secure and stable connection.  

So, I did a test with three different glues on a square piece of wood.

 

I glued them for a couple days flat on the floor and then I hung them on the wall.  The results were that they all stayed put.  So, I covered the whole wood piece and I just hung it on the wall today so we will see how they hold up.

This is another set of things I am working on, which I am super excited about.  I am pouring polyurethane into this silicone mold and placing words on paper and images into them.  They take about a week to dry, but in the end it is a really cool effect. 

 

Every time that I have a memory about my grandma I have been writing down what sparked the memory.  When it is in the mold it looks like I am preserving or freezing that memory in time.  The images are all pictures of my past or my grandmothers.

Here are some of the dried ones so far.  They almost remind me of a scientific preservation or even a planned inventory of memory.  I can imagine giving each one a code or exhibit name just as scientists and historians code their belongings so as to remember and identify everything in a organized and rather non-personal way.  It will be interesting to view these that way since most of my work is delving into the  personal, whereas this is taking it personal then forcing me to step back.

Here are some close ups of the pieces:

This one in particular is my favorite.  You can see the image really well and when I hold it up to the light it has a really intriguing look.  I also feel like these pieces have a haunting look to them.  They appear to be looking at a time that no longer exists and a faint memory of it (which is my concept...so it worked out well).

 I can't wait to see the drying ones next week, and I will make sure to show them to you soon.

Rachel

Cutting

This week is officially the week if cutting books.  Although that is not all I did this week it felt like it was one of the main things I did.  I began by cutting the books in my studio on the band saw, but after two trips the wood shop closed for an orientation.  I wasn't quite sure what to do at that point so I pulled out my trusty Japanese pull saw and started cutting my paper back books as they are much easier to cut.  I ended up being able to cut all of the paperback books in my studio and today I cut all of the paperbacks at my house. So, I have just a little left to cut on the band saw next week.  I must say that my hands are quite blistered and sore.

Here is a photo of my spare bedroom in my house after I cut most of the books today.  I made quite a mess.

I think I cut about 30ish books.  

So, I have also been working on some new things to help me explore my concept further.  I am making polyurethane molds, but I forgot to get a picture of them.  So, I'll give you one next time.  But, they are very interesting and have an intriguing affect with the light.  So, I am planning on buying some clear liquid resin so it has a similar affect but it will dry faster.  I'm going to buy some tomorrow so we will see how it goes.  

In addition to that I have been painting gouache on wood squares and playing with caulking over top of them.  I feel that the watercolor is similar to an idea of memory and the caulking is covering it up.  It is as though it is a struggle to remember the past.  I have also realized that stacking and grids and units to a whole are very important in my artwork.  I feel that our past and our memories are very important to us and they are all dependent on one another.  Its as though each person comes with a memory based on a memory that relies on some other memory.  Everything is all interconnected and related.  That is why the stacking on the books is so important, and the grids in the caulking pieces I have are important.  Here are some of the ones I have done recently:

The bottom one has a very faint image transfer on it.  I'm working on trying to incorporate more image transfers into other ones.  I'm not sure what else I want to add to them or if I want to place anymore watercolors on it.  We will see.  

I've been thinking about how it might be interesting to not go 8 feet wide with the book wall.  Instead sticking with 4-5' wide and go all the way to the ceiling instead of only 8-9' tall.  I think it may be more interesting and create a very different affect.  Alright...I have many things to think about.  Talk to you soon

Rachel

Returning

I'm back after a short break to give you more information...which I hope that you deeply and truly desire.  I would first like to show you the madness of the spare bedroom in my house. 

I'm truly lucky that there is an extra bedroom at all.  Otherwise I would be sleeping beside these books as they would be surrounding my bed.  They are getting dryer.  I think within a week I should be able to cut them in half on the crazy saw in the wood shop.  

I've also been doing a couple more portraits of my grandmother.

I feel that they are all very different and unique.  I think that this is something that I will continue to explore.  I went to the Contemporary Arts Center today and there was an exhibition on miniaturist painting, which is a technique in Pakistan.  Although some of the artists' works were not as interesting to me, there were two that definitely stood out.  The work of Ambreen Butt and Imran Qureshi.  Ambreen does a lot of mixed media with sewing, text, and watercolor, while Imran works primarily with gouache and paper.  They both do beautiful work, but it is their unique ways of using watercolor and gouache that makes them stand out.  They both make me want to rethink the way I use the watercolor medium with these timed portraits.  And, maybe I want to explore making a portrait in a different way...maybe not just her face.  Imran in particular did these painting of feet and arm prints to discuss a bombing that he experienced.  He wanted to show the beauty and sadness in such an experience.  Here are some links to some of their bodies of work:

Imran Qureshi:

http://universes-in-universe.org/eng/nafas/articles/2011/political_patterns/photos/10_imran_qureshi

http://www.sharjahart.org/blog/2011/february/sneak-preview--imran-qureshi

Ambreen Butt:

http://www.ambreenbutt.com/web/works.php

They both just make me want to explore new watercolor techniques and new ways to explore a tragedy or death.

I have also been looking into new ways to display my books.  I feel that each book is like a memory, and what do we do with memories?  We try our hardest to keep them by photographing them.  We then hang them in picture frames, keep them in photo albums, and put them in boxes.  This is all so that we make sure not to forget.  Yet, it is not these photos that keep these events in our life, it is in the memories of them.  These memories can be found in the things they touched, in the marks they made, in the things that let us know they were human and they were here, and in the things that say they were not just a person in a photo.  I thought it would be interesting to explore the books in this regard by putting them in place of the photos since they are in a sense a memory of a humans existence.  They touched the book, they read it, they became apart of it and the splice of the book shows the essence of this. 

    

I wasn't able to actually put the books in a frame yet since they are too thick for that, but I was able to make a cropped image of what they would look like in the frame.  What is interesting is that I could repeat this with things besides books.  Or I could create scenes for the books to live out and I could photograph them as though I'm trying to capture a memory, so that later i will be able to have a memory of a memory.  Its a thought!  I will talk to you soon with more updates.

Rachel  

Progress

I've been working diligently the past week to the point that my hands are covered in gel medium and both my home and my studio are filled with many many many books.  I last counted and I have warped 107 books in a week...amazed?  I am.  I have never warped that many books that fast.  Now I have to wait for them to dry completely before I can cut them in half.  That part actually scares me.  Originally I was cutting them with a saw, which took me forever because my muscles are weak and scrawny.  So, I ponned the job off to my boyfriend, and he was not too happy.  Then I started cutting the books on a miter saw before warping them, but I didnt like how they looked as much.  And finally I come to my last venture which was within this past week.  I decided to ask if I could cut the warped book on one of the machines.  (You should know before I go on that I have a tendency to get anxiety really easy and over silly things).  So, my anxiety was kicking into overdrive and I made a friend come with me to ask because I was so scared.  After I asked the shop worker...he looked at me like I was completely stupid, asked if I had a badge, and then told me what machine to cut it on.  As I approached the band saw my heart was racing, my face beat red, and my voice a little squeely.  I turned the machine on and pushed the book through...with utter relief the book was cut perfectly in half with no issues.  Although I will be terrified for awhile at least its fast and a lot easier than a hand saw.

Anywho, Here are some photos of my studio yesterday.

These books are sitting up to dry more, and so they don't get mold on them...which has happened before.

Here are some books I just warped.

And here's some more. 

Insanity I know!!!  I look like a hoarder.  Well, a sophisticated one since I only hoard books.  I guess that makes it sound better...sort of. 

Alrighty, signing off tonight.  I shall show you some more progress and ideas soon...and I'll have to get a picture of my room at home with 60 books covering the ground!  It's breathtakingly crazy!

Rachel

Holding On

So, I was struggling the past couple of days while working on my artwork.  Not because of a lack of ideas, but because of all the emotions that came out of it.  I swear I just broke down crying because of all of the memories and feelings I try to suppress in regards to my grandmother.  It is difficult exploring the subject of her while trying to stay detached emotionally.  But, I've realized that is just not possible, and maybe that is for the best.  I need to address these feelings.

After she passed away I went back into her house twice.  I couldn't bring myself to go back in the house after that.  It was just too hard.  The harder thing was that my cousin lives in the house now and when she has parties I make up excuses so that I dont have to go back in the house.  It just brings up too many memories.  Its strange I want to remember and fight to hold on to the memory of her.  Yet, sometimes its like system overload and it is just too much to handle.  The only way to function normally is to just close the door and turn the emotions off.  I decided to go to google maps and look up my grandmas house.  They let you look up a street view on it and it just opened the doors, the windows, and every nook and cranny that I had closed.  All of these memories came back and I just started to cry.  Memories of me baking with her and watching the olympics with her, spending the night, feeding her when she was sick, seeing her in the hospital, mowing her lawn and so on.  I realized that I need to explore her house more.   Not in real life, but in my artwork.  So, I hope to have some stuff on that soon.

But, in the mean time I decided to explore the overlay drawings of my grandma, my mom, and me in a different way.  This was also why I was having a ton of emotions pouring out of me.  I am doing watercolor paintings of my grandmother.  I chose one picture and taped off a specific section of it.  The first one I could look at the photo, but the second one I could only glance at the first painting before I began on the second one.  I did this a few more times, but then I decided that I should limit myself by time on these.  So, I played with a couple different times before I ended on 2 minutes each.  After the time is up I cant play with the painting anymore.  Each time the picture looks vaguely familiar but always  different.  I feel like I am getting more of an idea of the loss of memory over time or the struggle to hold on to a memory over time in doing it this way.

Okay, so here is the photo I am using of my grandma.  This photo always bothered because she seems upset or like she is talking about something serious.  I have always wondered what she was thinking about.

This is the first painting of her.  I decided to use watercolor so that it isn't exact or completely realistic.  I feel that it gives a haze to it.

This is the second one based on a glance at first one.

I feel like you can start to see the change in this one.  The proportions, detail, and vividness are off.

This is the last painting before I started timing myself.

Here are some of the timed ones.

  I feel much better about the timed ones.  There is much more of a sense of urgency as well as a complete lack of information depending on the painting.  I am interested to see how they will continue to form and change as I go forward.  Okay.  Enough babbling for tonight.  I will post more soon!

Rachel

Memories

Returning again to say hello!

I have explored other ways of expressing my thoughts in my book artwork.  I feel that memories are very important in our daily lives.  We live each day based on the past and the memories of it.  It is impossible to move forward without looking to the past or even relying on it.  I think that is why books are so intriguing to me.  They are a tool used to remember information and they are also heavily relied on for our memory.  But, books also have an itriguing quality to them in the fact that they are like a world of their own.  Each filled with their own stories, lives, connections, and memories.  They are like a life and when they are merely sitting on the table not in use, they are a memory of that life.

Its because of this thought that I have been trying to incorporate photos into my book installation.  I feel that books and photos have a similar use in that they are both used to help remember.  I have been taking photos of my family and blurring them out so as to create a sense of haze.  This is to emulate the idea of the blurriness of memories, and the gradual loss of it.  Then, I have been choosing parts of the picture that are more vague and attaching them to openings in some of the books.

Here are some close ups of some of the photos in the books.  I put the photos on transparency paper and then i placed and led light behind each photo to illuminate the printed photo.  I was really pleased with the look.

I am working on getting the led lights to fade in and out automatically while being installed.  I think that this would make the books feel more like a heartbeat or a breath of a life that has faded away.  What we are left with is merely a memory of something lost.  I think it is interesting that I am using books and photos in my artwork because they are both used to help remember.  Yet, I am exposing them to be something that is not a permanent tool to always look back on.  Instead, they are fading memories.

Thats what is interesting about memories.  You fight to hold on to them, but you cant.  You just cant.  They will all gradually fade away.

Off to work on some new ideas I have brewing in my brain! Talk to you soon.

Rachel

Beginnings

Hello Everyone!  Welcome to my first blog post.  Clearly you can read my name is Rachel Nieman and that I am from Cincinnati, OH.  I am an art lover as well as an art student at the University of Cincinnati.  Its going to be a crazy year this year as it is my senior year and I am gearing up for my senior thesis show.  Its gonna be a fun but wild ride.

In general I am focused on the idea of memory and how it affects us.  When I was younger I lost my grandmother whom I was very close with.  It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever gone through and I still battle it today.  I battle with making sure I remember her.  I don't want to forget what she looks like, what we did together, the relationship we had, and who I am now because of her.  It will have been 8 years this February 8th and I just cant believe it.  It has been hard not having her there for many big days of my life and the many more to come.

I know that I was always drawn toward art even when she was still alive, but I think her passing truly pushed me to want to pursue art as a career.  When I was hurting after she died I turned to art to help deal with everything.  After awhile I tried to abandon this to move on, but the past two years, especially, I realized how much I need to explore with the memory of her.  I have not resolved everything and my thesis work is an attempt to do such.   In general though my work is revolving memory, some are more specific to my grandmother than others.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy my blogging and my artwork!!!!

I guess I can start out with some past photos of my work to give you an idea what my work is like and works in progress in my studio.

This is my primary work in progress.  I have been working with books by warping them and cutting them in half.  I plan to post them onto the wall like you see above.  I would like to cover a whole wall, but right now this is all I have so far.  

 
    This is the second main item I have been working on.  I started looking at my connection to my grandmother and my mother and my great grandmother by drawing our portraits over top one another so you could see them through one another.  I stopped doing these about a month or two ago to focus on warping books, but I am planning on returning back to them.

Alrighty!  My first successful post and a long one at that...I will talk to you soon!

Rachel